Journaling On Death

The day

My nana died today. I was at work, getting ready for my afternoon class when I got the text from my mom. When I left the school at the end of the day, it was raining. The first spring rain that was really rain, not slushy snow or sleet. The air smelled fresh and alive. And the heavy sky mirrored my heavy heart. I always sigh a lot when grieving a recent loss. Lungs demanding that extra gulp of oxygen.

The next day

Listening to the Code Switch podcast while doing dishes, the host, Gene Demby, talked about the shooting in Buffalo. He named and described the people who had been killed. Humanized them and paid tribute to their lives and the Black community and the Black owned grocery store where the shooting happened. My eyes filled and tears fell into the dishwater. I couldn’t see the dishes or if they were clean as I scrubbed. Housework and dog walks have a soundtrack of world events and wide-ranging commentary as podcasts help to take my mind off my own life.

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Sylvanus Oliver

Sylvanus Oliver

queer white settler, writing as acknowledgement and accountability, curiosity and questioning